Yin
by somnambulism
Summary: [Kouichi POV][Shounen-ai KouKou] Kouichi ponders mentally about his twin brother, wondering if Kouji could love him back. [Possible One-shot]


Yin

Title: Yin

Pairing: Shounen-ai thoughts; KouKou, with Takuya/Kouji. No action. Just thoughts and longing.

Summary: Kouichi POV. Everything about the Chosen Children of Light and Darkness make them complete opposites…though, as the old saying goes, opposites attract. And that old saying has managed to affect Kouichi well.

A/N: Dedicated to my good friends who I met at OhayoCon last weekend. I decided to write this on the fact I'm bored, it's freezing out, and I haven't written a fanfic in ages. Besides, cosplaying Kouichi has made me reobsessed with the best parts of the Digimon fandom once again.

Enjoy.

=Kouichi POV=

            Light and Darkness…one cannot exist without the other, right? But what if Darkness isn't aware of Light's existence? Or if Light unaware of Dark's existence? Is it possible? I wonder how I managed to do so…surviving without knowledge of the person who was so like me…yet different…in this world. It was quite a surprise when grandmother told me about Kouji…but now, I'm glad she did.

            I've experienced so much more now since I've reunited with Kouji. These feelings of happiness. The light managed to shine through the darkness within me, and even reach my heart. Although, I wonder if he realizes it.

I can't help but feel it's wrong admiring him…this isn't brotherly love, I know. It's something more. But why? Why between us? It's just not meant to be. We're Yin & Yang. Light and Dark. Boys. Brothers. Twins.

Even though we are twins, Kouji definitely is the better looking of the both of us…he's perfect too. In everything. Despite claiming to be a 'lone wolf', he makes friends quicker than I do. He's stronger too, mentally and physically. He should be the 'big brother', not I. I feel like I'm a burden to him sometimes. And others, I feel like I'm in his shadow. But unlike everyone else, he seems to understand me, and I understand him as well.

But what would the others think if they learned of my feelings for him? Would they have to know? Takuya likely wouldn't approve. He seems to secretly like Kouji. He hasn't ever told me…but he seems to be waging a war similar to mine. He has fewer problems in -his- way. I don't need competition…but…would Kouji really choose Takuya over me?

            He would, wouldn't he? He isn't his twin. He isn't his opposite. He doesn't have a name so similar to his. But does he really love Kouji more than I do?

            How could I confess to Kouji that fact? That I love him? I have yet to tell that four letter to word to anyone other than grandmother and mother. What would Kouji say back? How would I be able to tell him?

            It…isn't entirely wrong to love him in the way I do, is it? I mean…we don't have the same last names any longer, after all. And…maybe it was fate that brought us back together. Maybe grandmother wanted this all along. 

            Maybe I'm just getting my hopes up. Wanting dearly something that I doubt I never can have. It just isn't fair. Why, for once, can't things go my way? Why can't I get what I want instead of being forced to keep things a secret? Why can't I, for once, be by his side? Why can't I just be his?

            The worst thing that could happen is if Kouji isn't the same way as I am…if he's only interested in girls. Then I would scare him off forever, wouldn't I? I doubt one could adjust to something so different. Maybe I should just keep it a secret, and just admire him from afar, pretend that all between him and me is a brotherly love. But eventually, he'll find out, won't he? Things rarely can be kept secrets, it seems.

            How did I allow myself to fall for him? How -did- I fall for him? How could I not have?

            It troubles me now as these thoughts pour through my head. There are too many obstacles between us. Too many differences and problems. A romance between the both of us would be unthinkable…impossible…yet, many things in this world are. Those things usually turn out good, don't they?

            Well. I hope. Now, I've made up my mind. I'm going to lift this weight from my chest and ask him. No, tell him. Tell him how I feel. Everything will be okay, as long as I stop doubting myself and have confidence, like him. But I'm not like him. I'm Yin and he's Yang. I'm Darkness, and he's Light. Yet, Darkness and Light are always together.

            I want to be like that with him.

~Owari~

A/N: And so ends my first Digimon fanfic X3. It was good, I hope. Kouichi may have been a bit OoC, and if so, I apologize –Bows-.

Sorry for the shortness, too!

If it gets a lot of reviews, I might make a sequel or new chapter. And if so, it'll be Kouichi confessing to Kouji, or Kouji's thoughts on Kouichi ^^;.

I added the little Takuya/Kouji bit, because, to me, it seems they have something going on there, too. I'm a fan of it, as well as KouKou, but I like the latter more ^^;.

Now, click on the little button and submit a review. Give me flames and they'll just contribute to making my hot cocoa. Which may be a good thing…


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